“It’s not always the tears that measures the pain, sometimes it’s the fake smile that we wear.”
Sometimes you just have to smile, pretend everything is okay, hold back the tears and just walk away. Putting on a fake smile is actually the act of appearing happy to others while literally one is suffering internally with depressive symptoms and others struggling with depressive thoughts in their lives.
Someone once told me, you can see many smiles a day, but you never know whose lives are upside down. This later came to my understanding after I met this beautiful mama on my way home one evening inside a bus. I vividly remember how elegant the lady looked with her stylish dressing. I was so excited when she came and sat next to me. The bus had an awkward silence that I decided to start a small talk with the lady. I was not quite sure of her responses though she seemed much friendly from her smile.
Immediately I said hi to her, she replied back with such a beautiful smile. We engaged in very obvious conversations until I brought in the question of how she made it in life, because to me she seemed like those who have already conquered. She just smiled and told me it’s never that easy dear one. At first I thought she was just trying to be modest until she explained to me her way out.
It almost drew me to tears when she told me the kind of hardship she was undergoing just to sustain her family. Her being the breadwinner, she had to do anything possible in order to find her way out. Apparently she worked as a full time club attendant. Being a mother of two is the most hurting thing. At times her small kids would always cry when she has to leave for work and attend to the club at odd hours of the night and dress very indecently. Not because she wanted but because she had no other job she could make a living from. I did not judge and question her for not looking for a more decent job, because I did not know the options she had to choose from so that she could make that given choice.
To cut the long story short, it came to my understanding that there was a lot of pain behind her fake smile. One could not imagine that was the kind of life she was living and the pain she was undergoing. Even social media deceives us that people are happy, living all kinds of lavish lifestyle from the kind of post they update.
Sometimes we wear the fake smile so that we can remain strong because the smile deceives. Each time people smile, that does not mean our hearts are not shedding tears. Faking a smile is easier than explaining what is killing you inside.
Very many people end up getting depressed because they try to balance their fake smile and their aching heart. We need to learn how to ask for help, because at one point or another everyone gets fed up with situations in life.
One thing i always say, everyone is going through a situation, for some, it’s worse than the rest but as a friend, relative, colleague, make sure that you know how to ask the question “Are you okay?”. Time and time again, i have experienced that whenever i repeat the question, people end up shedding tears or pouring out their problems, even though they had insisted that they were fine.
People do not only hide their pain because they wish to handle it themselves, others hide their pain, because nobody cared enough to really ask “Are you okay”.
For everyone who cares about someone, ask the question repeatedly and carefully. Do not ask, because it is a way of speech, ask because you care to know how someone is. For anyone out there, going through a situation, speak out, tell someone and work your way to your real smile.
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From us, with love,