Surviving the retrogressive cultures in today’s world

“A strong woman is the lifeline of her family, she carries within her the power to endure pain and the courage to sacrifice. She has the power to create and nurture life. She is indeed the epitome of love and sacrifice.”

To some extent i the woman is still being looked down upon in the 21st century. Despite that she MUST understand that she has to go an extra mile with the challenges around her to be at the top. She must be at the top at all costs. Female discrimination takes many forms and some of the challenges in this era will take the shape of ladies being told that they must sleep with a Boss to get a job, the case of wife inheritance and the property inheritance and/or not believing women can provide leadership.
Today’s post touches on a very sensitive topic to many of us. Female discrimination. The fact that in the year 2016 we still have to fight for women’s rights and gender equality. It utterly makes the global efforts to empower the woman a laughingstock.
It is sad that in this modern world we still hear stories of people who are not treated fairly because of their gender. This is the 21st century and at times, it is painful listening to women and girls who have been through and still are going through a lot of discrimination from their communities, and worst of all their families because of being female.

My mother raised a strong woman in me but behind all that, I had to learn a lot growing up. Most of it the hard way. My father passed on (may his soul rest in peace) when I was just 3 years old and my little sister was only 3 months old.
On the night of my father’s burial, my sister’s, mother’s and my life were threatened at the point of driving my mother away from her in law’s homestead at 3 am in the morning. From where we were, it was approximately 300km +/- back to our city. That specific road back to the city was not safe at all for a woman, with 2 children, 1 being an infant, to be on at 3am, but God is faithful.
After that incidence, the issue of who has the right to own what my father had left behind (properties and such) surfaced. Apparently, my father’s will mysteriously disappeared at some point and shockingly a tag of war ensued between my grandfather and my mother. Attending cases at the high court became the norm, my mother,us against the rest. My grandfather continuously reminded my mother of one thing, one thing that has never been erased from my mind: “Female children do not deserve anything, the only thing they are good for, is growing up and getting married”
My  father had a son prior to meeting my mother whom we took in as our blood, even after my dad’s death. Just like for her own children, my mother toiled single-handedly to provide for him including funding for his education through college. In the year 2008, the case at the high court on our family properties completely turned against us. This was when my step brother joined the case and sided with my grandfather after he was promised 50% of everything at stake. We relocated to another country, and by then we lost the case. This was after a bribe was offered and taken by the judge, from my grandfather and his camp to rule the case against us. We simply lost it all!

Why I chose to share this, one might ask, my reason is that I’ve had enough. It’s enough that whenever we switch on our televisions or other news media, we must hear one story or the other about how women are being mistreated or victimized.
Women in different parts of the world go through much worse and few of them thrive against all odds. Others, the majority, do not know how to handle similar situations and this weighs them down completely. We personally know of women who have been victimized by their own families, friends, colleagues, neighbours and even strangers. Some of the incidences are buried deep down in silence because there is no audience to listen and help them.


It’s too much that many women are not allowed to inherit and/or own what rightfully belongs to them because they are female. My family’s story resonates well with this. For most of the communities where victimization of women occur, they strongly believe that women are to be raised and groomed so that they can be married off someday. Afterward, Like in my case, my father’s family is supposed to gain from the dowry that is commonly paid in African weddings.
It’s sad that not only does my grandfather still have the same mentality but that there are still people in this world who still have the same mentality in this century. At the end of the day, once you go through certain situations, you need to realize that it is your decision to either make it a strength or let it be your weakness. You decide to either positively or negatively respond to life.

“I am not an object for sale but a woman with destiny. I am worth much more than just being a female. Change begins with our mentalities. To be able to influence the world, we must be able to influence our minds.”

Keep reading, keep sharing and keep commenting.

From us, with love,

3 thoughts on “Surviving the retrogressive cultures in today’s world

Add yours

  1. you forgot about being a young woman. I have sometimes been treated in a horrible way just because i am a “young girl”. That moment when a young person trying to make it and then one makes you feel like you are nothing. I did not choose be born a woman or at some time. Accept it i am a young woman trying to make it don’t judge me because of that. that is a big thing let me not get all emotional.


  2. That’s really bad to hear that women are not being treated fairly, I respect them and love them because they are the ones who feed us and we could not have families without them


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