“The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well- being of the one you love.”
For love to be reciprocated, we should learn to express it in a way that our partner understands best. Most of the time we find ourselves questioning the kind of relationships we are in because we have not mastered our partner’s love language. The misinterpretation results to relationships lasting for a much shorter period than what we expect. In addition, marriages are also easily broken. “We must be willing to learn our partner’s primary love language if we are to be effective communicators of love.” – Gary Chapman.
People do not express their love the same way. By this I mean, a lot of factors, affect the way you express your love, but understanding one’s love language ultimately brings in the difference.
These factors are such as, but not limited to:
Race, Culture and Traditions – This tends to be a limiting factor for very many people who decide to date beyond their ethnic group. Take for instance interracial couples. I personally respect these relationships because as many of us know people from different races bear the biggest differences in terms of culture and traditions. Therefore they love in different ways and also handle situations in very different ways. thus the people in the relationship have to learn how to adjust, and compromise despite all they’ve grown up knowing.
Religion – Many of us are taught not to date beyond our religious beliefs and groups however one can’t exactly control who one falls in love with right? In the case where one is dating a person who has a different religious belief, it is very important to realize that religious beliefs also have their restrictions and ways in which an individual should conduct him/herself in terms of love.
Personality – People are very different as mentioned before and therefore have different ways of expressing love. Often the majority misunderstand their S.O. because of forgetting important dates and even acting in certain ways because of simply misinterpreting their expressions. For example, forgetting birthdays and/or anniversaries does not necessarily mean that your partner does not love you (this is not to mean that it’s okay to forget). We have to keep in mind that not everyone was raised the same way as we were. Some people are used to celebrating each and every life event, therefore it easier to remember. Others forget, not because they want to but simply because it has never been a tradition to celebrate certain events. Some cultural tendencies will be hard to change, but instead of getting annoyed or refusing to tolerate the situation, you might as well teach your S.O. We must show a willingness to compromise on a few things for the greater good.
The moment we understand our partner’s love language, then we can be sure arguments and “time offs” in the relationships will not be there. Matters of the heart need to be treated with care and maturity, a relationship could have so many factors that might not be in line with what you believe, what you’ve been taught or even what you consider as a “norm” . Those who have not taken time to master the art, will often make unreasonable conclusions.
Overthinking is the gate pass to broken relationships. This is because assumptions pile up and one is made to believe that what they perceive is right other than what is factual. Mutual understanding and communication helps eradicate unnecessary beef and cold wars that waste time and are emotionally strenuous. Know who you’re dating, understand their personality, where they come from and their belief and you’re good to go. If you are not willing to compromise then do not get into a relationship.
Love is beautiful, but at times it can get quite complicated if you do not have the right tools and mindset to deal with situations. For a smoother journey, learn to live by understanding the primary love language of your partner. Conquer through communication and compromise.
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From us, with love,