The secret of “I do” 

“The goal is to make a marriage more beautiful than the wedding”

Marriage is definitely a milestone, a long-term sharing of two lives which the majority (but not all) intend to achieve. A wedding is that specific ceremony that unites two people in a marriage. With that said, when we think of marriage, we alternate it with the thought of a wedding which is a completely different thing.  In most cases, you find that we tend to plan and focus more on that special wedding day rather than the journey ahead.  This forms the bases of many misunderstandings after that day. It is very important to note that a wedding is just but a day’s occasion, while as marriage is a lifetime commitment which should be our total focus throughout our entire preparation towards our unity.

The wedding excitements may at times sweep us off our feet that we forget a stable relationship that builds a long-lasting marriage is one that is not carried away by any form of wind.  Although it is very good to get excited about this precious day, it is also important not to lose focus on what lies ahead of the day.  In this generation, many are hasty to exchange the marital vows, without contemplating the requirements in a marriage.  After the wedding wave passes,  we then begin thinking about where to start.  We get caught up by events without having the A, B, C, of life after the wedding because we did not focus much on those.


Planning a wedding should be done by the couple without one missing out on any information.  By doing this, the couple will learn more about how to plan things together, communicate on different levels and situations and they also get used to the company of each other which solidifies their relationship.  That makes it easy for them to connect even after the wedding because they already created a strong foundation.

Marriage to some begins on the wedding night while with others, it begins earlier than the wedding night.  Either way, couples should know that what makes a strong relationship that leads to a lifetime marriage, is their understanding, commitment, and true love.  In a relationship where a couple is only knitted up by emotional love, on those grey mornings, love may fail but what will keep you together is your unconditional commitment to one another.

In our social media today, we witness very fresh marriages breaking up, some even for very popular figures in the community. Why is this so? The reason sometimes may be caused by situations where the relationship was based on illusions- having a wrong perception of your partner or having high expectations- Anticipation of things your partner cannot deliver.  These are the basic reasons though there might be more reasons. A great lesson from my mother who is not only a pastor but also a marriage counselor, in her words, marriage is not only founded in love but also on unfailing commitment, patience, communication and other virtues which should be worked on during courtship before taking that key step of life.

It’s about time we embrace the importance of marriage institution and stop wallowing in the fantasies of a wedding.  A wedding is not the image of marriage but a door to it. A flashy and successful wedding does not necessarily mean that your marriage will be the same.  Often (keyword), it’s quite the contrary.  Our choices determine how far we are going to go.   Choose a life partner with whom you will endure the journey with, instead of one that is too emotionally driven by flashiness without an agenda.

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From us, with love,
Responding To Life.

4 thoughts on “The secret of “I do” 

Add yours

  1. Nice piece by RTL.Taught me some things and answers to questions that I usually ask myself but get no answers.Thanks alot for this piece RTL.I really appreciate.


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