“We are very good lawyers for our own mistakes but very good judges for others’ mistakes”
Today’s post is a message of self-analysis and a message that has been on my mind for the longest time. Pondering through this topic has been hard however hopefully it hits home.
We all have judged someone at one point or another both consciously and subconsciously. I mean it’s human nature. However what we fail to realise is that we tend to judge and forget that we too are prone to judgement.
Judgement happens for different reasons and with different motifs. At times judgement could be as a result of jealousy and other times could be as a result of ego and pride. For whichever reason, judging fellow being is one of the outmost outrageous things that we human beings do and sadly have presumed to be acceptable in society.
This could, however, happen from two perspectives.
- Competitive/Degrading judgement: This happens because at times we think we have to be/are better than the next. An example would be when we discredit others because of how they dress, their weight and even the car they drive or whether or not they have a car. Society today has made everyone think that they are in constant competition with each other. To the extent of getting into debt and/or distress because you have to keep up with trends, latest models and styles, so as to be of a certain status. God save the girl who sits next to you and does not own a Prada bag like you do…she’s instantly classified as poor and “can’t sit with you” since she can’t afford it. She is looked down upon as she is not “of your class”
The man who insists on you taking a cab or public transport to rendezvous for your date instead of picking you up in a Mercedes G-class or a BMW x6 is not man enough to even request for your time.
The lady who doesn’t dress in heels, bandage dresses and is not a figure 8, is not beautiful enough to be called yours. Come on, what has the world become, that we judge based on material belongings, physical appearance and the sort. Who are we to set the standards for such. We should be ashamed of ourselves because I know I am. For the many times, I have spoken out against someone in a demeaning manner simply because I felt better off or prettier, speaks less about me in all aspects.
- Moral judgment: One would argue that this is necessary however to what extent is it actually proper? I have recently seen on social media posts about different women being called out for their “alleged” morals in terms of climbing up the social status ladder. For my Kenyan readers, you will understand what I am talking about. I noticed that many men and women who I would assume do not know the people in question nor do they know the struggles they face day after day, sit and discuss alleged indications to these women’s immorality with no reliable source whatsoever. The thing about this type of judgement is that anything goes and the least of information is termed as reliable sources.
With that said, I do not disagree that the issues in society need to be corrected, however pinpointing individuals based on non-reliable sources is not okay. I must admit that I am not on the innocent side either however we all are a work in progress. But what change will we ever make if we don’t start from within? Instead of facing the individuals, why not face the issue, and if you are convinced that the individual is on the wrong, why not seek the individual and handle the matter amicably rather than round up a gang of others who would probably make the situation even worse by nailing more lies to the counter.
Even though it might be true, how innocent are you to speak on someone else’s foul character? What happened to “The one with no sin cast the first stone”. The worst bit is that we rarely speak out to correct, only to judge.
What if a certain route is their last option for survival? Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. You that is a saint, can you present a clean record?
Very many people often die with their shame on the inside in the fear of being judged if they do disclose their shames. For some, judgement is the only thing keeping them from expressing their truth and telling their story. Not until recently have some women in some culture had the courage to speak out on incidents such as rape, since society has made them believe that it is a taboo to get raped and they are the ones to be judged and frowned down upon in such situations and maybe, just maybe they’d have to be alone since no man would want them. Children are suicidal because of the shame and fear of judgement not only from society but also relatives. Bullies are getting the privilege to speak and disgrace a child yet in some areas as long as it’s not physical abuse it’s okay.
The moment a word of judgement comes from your mouth to another person, I can promise you that it’s worse than the physical abuse.
That one you constantly call fat because of their body weight, stupid because they have a hard time in math, that one you call a prostitute with no factual proof, the one you look down on since they can’t afford the latest designer shoes or clothes, or even electronics, you know nothing about their backgrounds neither do you know their destiny. Please sit down, and be humble. Run from an evil tongue and an evil mind. You are causing more harm than good. If you have no good intentions refrain from speaking against or to your next.
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