“Physical beauty is passing – a transitory possession – but beauty of the mind, richness of the spirit, tenderness of the heart aren’t taken away but grow! They increase with the years!” – Anonymous
I recently had a conversation with a young man, a very dear friend. I asked him what he seeks in a woman. This question came as a result of curiosity since, on a daily basis, he sees close to 5 different women in a day and interacts with each for an hour or more. This is due to his job. It’s part of the description. For an hour or more, talking to an individual, your interact and get to pick their brain, and might even create a friendship, outside of work. This individual definitely isn’t a stranger. Being the curious cat and the overthinker that I am, I did the math. My friend works 5 sometimes 6 days a week. Interacting with an average of 5 ladies a day, we’re looking at 25-30 (give or take) women in a week. Yet he is single! Something wasn’t adding up. He has been in his profession for well over 2 years now. From my perspective, these ladies are very beautiful, and he is one of the good men left in this generation. So I inquired. I asked him why is it that you’re single with so many beautiful ladies around you, come on, shoot your shot!
His response was profound and coming from a young man in 2019, I was amazed. He said: “Victoria, These ladies are beautiful, absolutely gorgeous, but there is nothing more to their beauty. I want more than that. I want someone with whom, I can confide in, talk to and have a mature, intelligent conversation with. Hence they might like me, yes, but to me, it sadly doesn’t go beyond the job!”
I had given up on the idea of intellect still being an attractive trait in our generation. With the number of ladies going to extremes to tweak their bodies in all ways to satisfy the beauty expectations of society, I had never imagined that any man, would still embrace more than the large front and back assets, flat tummy, light skin, Brazilian hair, thick hips idea of a woman. Mind you, these beauty standards, come as a result of the glorification of such women on social media, magazines and by the men around us as well.
My friend went on to say: “My perfect idea of a woman goes beyond what I can see. It goes deeper into what I feel, and the level of connection she and I share. I’d be unimpressed by a perfectly endowed woman when she has no basic values or when she can’t intrigue my mentality. I need a woman who inspires me to be better as I do to her. The inspiration doesn’t come from the physical, but don’t get me wrong, physical beauty is a bonus, but which woman won’t be beautiful if her heart is pure, her mind is a maze, full of wisdom and intelligence, and her spirit, as free and peaceful that the ambiance around her is none other than that?”
After this description, I just gazed in awe and wondered how I would reach out to all young ladies killing themselves over flat tummies and lighter skin, forgetting to work on their minds and their spirits. Listen, once you grow old, your body will wither whether you like it or not! Don’t get me wrong, it is not wrong to stay fit and have a lovely body, but what is of worry, is having your body and your beauty as your trophy, with nothing more to offer, not only to a man but to the world. Beauty is relative and in the eyes of the beholder hence you can only be attractive to a certain amount of individuals to what’s on the outside. A woman with a kind heart, a great spirit, and an intelligent mind, defies all odds. No one can question her beauty as it shines past what society’s standards of beauty are. Why is it, that most ladies want to fit into society’s standards yet they can surpass these?
Ladies you can do more and be more! Don’t give up in the beauty of being more than just a pretty face because we live in a society that overglorifies pretty faces! In the long run, your pretty face will only work for you on a short term! It shall fade! It’s a transitional possession! Also don’t forget, a prettier face exists but what makes that face stand out, is the fact that there is more to it than just that!
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VICTORIA NKATHA – RESPONDING TO LIFE
From us, with love,
Responding To Life.