“Don’t seek advice from people who don’t have what you’re looking for”
I remember at a time I used to depend on individuals so much that I had a friend who I would go to in every situation. Looking back, I feel that I trusted this individual more than I trusted myself which obviously is a recipe for disaster, however, I do not blame myself because this is what we often do, especially with so called “bestfriends”. In the process I used to ask about serious matters and sensitive decisions of which my friend would only speak negatively about. I used to wonder why but now I understand that an individual’s advice is limited to their vision, their plan and what they can offer.
Back to my friend, considering the trust I had towards the individual, I started slowly questioning myself and her advice, it was not until later that I realised that it’s not her fault but she knows no better.
There is a huge importance in seeking guidance in the field you want to venture in from an individual who is already successful in the field! You cannot ask a doctor about engineering. Don’t get me wrong, general advice and being able to ask different people about their opinions is good, as you get different views and perspectives, nut don’t let someone else’s opinion, based on your trust to the individual be a deal breaker to your goals and potential success.
Do not get dissapointed at someone else’s advice not necessarily being useful or lacking substance but understand that they cannot give what they don’t have and in some situations, you as well, cannot give what you do not have! This comes both from a point of understanding but also acknowledging the fact that some individuals are also malicious in their advice. Seeking for you not to advance faster or further than themselves.
What I have learnt with time is to seek advice from mentors. Mentors who:
1. Do not have any personal connection to me
2. Are successful in their field
3. Are available to teach and guide me step by step
4. Are learning and growing as well
I hope we will be better at accepting the fact that it’s not all advice that we should take to heart. Some know no better hence we cannot be too quick to judge and conclude that everyone wishes us the worst, but at the same time understand that other simply wish us no good! Either way, don’t seek advice from people who don’t have what you’re looking for!
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VICTORIA NKATHA – RESPONDING TO LIFE
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Responding To Life.