“Fake love is when the person loves you until you do something wrong and they leave you. True love will do whatever it takes in any circumstance to make things work. True love is not forced and does not need an audience. It’s genuine and does not hide. It radiates no matter where you are, or whom it is. True love knows no pride, no hurt, no jealousy and no evil”
I’ve been putting too much thought into life in general because when you grow older, you realize that, the most important things in life are the things you probably always have taken for granted. The fake love you’ve shown and that which you have received, makes you miss and need true love and affection. What do I mean by fake love? When your actions don’t match your words, your love is fake. The constant “I love you”, “I miss you” that has no action to back it up or no weight to it, is simply nothing but words, empty words that are set to blind the eyes and deafen the ears of those naive enough, not to see beyond them. It’s manipulative as it is clothed in garment of true love, only to realise that when the rain pours, it’s colours get washed away to reveal nothing but darkness. It torments the hearts of those who finally realize the fake-ness of it as their intention is to swim in the pool of true love. The patient type love. The kind love, the forgiving, understanding, good and most importantly the unconditional love!
At work the other day, I saw an elderly couple. They come in every weekend on Friday to be precise. They do their weekly shopping and as the lady packs the items into the bag, the man pays for the goods but I also noticed that in the goods, there is always a bouquet of lovely flowers. When he is finally done paying for his items, he walks over to his wife, and hands her the flowers, and says “happy weekend honey, I love you”. She giggles and says “thank you honey”. He then takes the groceries in one hand and holds her on the other hand as she hold her bouquet and they walk away smiling and giggling together in perfect harmony. I went on to ask how long they had been together and they told me over 70 years. Let me let you do the math.
I see a lot especially when I’m at work. Aside from the elderly couple, There is a specific young family that walks in every Saturday. They have a young two year old boy, who is very happy. How kids behave always tell me how the atmosphere in the household is, and I can tell you for a fact that this is a happy home. This lovely young family come in to do their weekly shopping as well, and most of the times their attire coordinates. They are quite friendly and always come over to say hello to me whenever I’m at work, and once I asked whether they coordinate their clothes intentionally. Their response had my heart melting. They told me that, you don’t need to intentionally coordinate the attire because your hearts are already in sync. Real love needs no planning, you find your perfect match who you match with perfectly. Now read that again and let it sink in.
I could give you similar examples not only with couples, but parents and their kids, Siblings and even friends whom I have become quite fond of because of their bonds and genuine bonds of love. This led me to look at the relationships I hold in my life. Not in comparison but in question of how strong these bonds are. Would I be confident enough to speak on my siblings and say that we truly have a bond of which, wherever we go, we radiate genuine love. Understand this, no relationship is perfect, I agree, however, does your love glow over your problems?
The partner you have, how deep and true is your love? You don’t necessarily need to colour coordinate your outfits but are your hearts in sync? Is there a harmony between the two of you or are you only together for the sex? If one was to see right through you and your partner what would they see? Some people are together yet they do not like each other, they quarrel every single day but they lack an emotional connection which results to a very toxic situation. All that radiates on the outside is the fake love, that they try to hide, but they only fool themselves.
Some parents and some siblings, will be acting all in love on social media. Mother’s and Father’s day or birthday’s is when we see some of these. Everyone would be writing love letters but on a normal day, you don’t even see eye to eye. Your love is only set a blaze by the pressure to be part of the flow. Stop lying to yourself!
Don’t let social constructs of what love is supposed to be ruin your chances at building a solid foundation with those around you. For some, romantic relationships are all about receiving, receiving money, receiving trips to Dubai, receiving expensive gifts, receiving special treatment, NO! Love is about giving, giving your heart, giving kindness, giving understanding, forgiveness, giving patience, giving support, giving loyalty and much more. The more you sit around waiting for material things and the lack there of to be a determinants of the success of your relationship, the more draining your relationships will be, and the more wasted you’ll become. This applies to both men and women, and with your friends as well.
Your parents or your siblings don’t need a social media post or a birthday cake from you, (which technically is not for them, but for you to post on social media so as to feed your ego) to show your love. Your parents require your gratefulness each day, your obedience, your teachable spirit, your attentiveness to that which they correct you with. They requires your good character, your faithfulness to the family.
Your siblings require your proper advice, your support, your loyalty, your faithfulness, your ability to be around and be there for them. They require your protection!
Do not look for real love where you radiate fake love. Don’t question why you cannot keep a relationship, because maybe the rain has fallen far too many times, and individuals have seen right through the mess. Don’t take pride in your family being a nuisance as you may tell others, maybe you are the nuisance with your fake-ness and as family, they know and they see right through you!
You change your squad, just like you change your clothes. You cannot keep a single friend for over a year, yet you keep posting about fake people on your social media. In swahili they say “Mwizi hukimbia kabla akimbizwe” – Translates to “A thief always runs before he/she is chased”…fill in the gaps.
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VICTORIA NKATHA – RESPONDING TO LIFE
From us, with love,
Responding To Life.